Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

What's supposed to happen on the wedding night? Will it hurt? What if I'm not a virgin? ...

Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby Ruth7 » Tue Apr 30, 2013 7:52 am

So, people have chimed in about the refractory period being just the time between back to back erections. And a few people in various threads have mentioned having an erection without an orgasm....I don't understand? A man can still have a full erection and do PIV? And just not reach an orgasm? So does that hurt? Or is it strange? Or confusing? Like when do you know to 'stop' PIV??? ....
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Re: Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby mr. emu » Tue Apr 30, 2013 7:58 am

You must install a timer on the wall above your headboard (your pastor will give this to you when you sign your marriage certificate ... it's supposed to be a secret until then). Push the mauve button when he achieves full erection, and you MUST stop when the sirens go off (w/ or w/out orgasm ... even a few seconds longer can cost him--and you--his penis). It's not strange or confusing at all. [mod note: It's pretty certain mr. emu meant to insert the laughing emoticon here. Please take this post as tongue-in-cheek!]

... oops ... :lol:
Last edited by mr. emu on Wed May 01, 2013 6:48 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby seeking perspective » Tue Apr 30, 2013 8:02 am

Ruth7 wrote:So, people have chimed in about the refractory period being just the time between back to back erections. And a few people in various threads have mentioned having an erection without an orgasm....I don't understand? A man can still have a full erection and do PIV? And just not reach an orgasm? So does that hurt? Or is it strange? Or confusing? Like when do you know to 'stop' PIV??? ....


I get the impression that this isn't common, especially for younger and newly-married men. On rare occasions, my husband and I will both realize at some point that an O isn't going to happen for us. That's when we decide we're done. You're done when you decide you are.
Make me a clean heart, O God: and renew a right spirit within me.
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Re: Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby mr. emu » Tue Apr 30, 2013 8:09 am

Sorry for my feeble attempt at humor, sister ... I SO appreciate your honest questions!!! Your FH probably has many erections every day, and when you begin having sex, all of them (or nearly all of them) will result in orgasm for him. The volume of his ejaculation (and perhaps the hardness of his erection) will decrease, though, if you have sex multiple times in a short period of time. And if he doesn't ejaculate--and some couples do this intentionally in the morning w/ a promise to finish in the afternoon or evening--his "pump will be primed" to be a "master blaster" later.
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Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby caleb15 » Tue Apr 30, 2013 8:44 am

It's only going to hurt if he is about to ejaculate and is stopped completely from that release. His testicles will become very very tender and it will feel like he got kicked...
That's usually not a problem... Unless you're having sex somewhere you could be interrupted.

In regards to PIV without orgasm. That actually did happen to me on my wedding night. We were going for our 3rd time in about 3 hours and I was still kind of nervous and excited with the whole thing... DW orgasmed and was pretty tight after and was sore from the previous 2 times, which I noticed and it kind of killed my drive (I don't blame her! ;)) so I kept pumping for a little bit but just realized it wasn't going to happen. So I went to In N Out for some post-coital munchy sating and later that night we did it again and I orgasmed and she didn't. So it all evened out! ;)
"It is doubtful God will use a man greatly until He wounds him deeply." A.W. Tozer
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Re: Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby jokerman » Tue Apr 30, 2013 8:53 am

Is it possible that people were talking about the opposite -- an orgasm but no erection? This seems more likely, especially if you're trying to be Superman and try for a second attempt at sex immediately after the first round.
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Re: Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby Ruth7 » Tue Apr 30, 2013 12:51 pm

Haha Mr.Emu....instructions for timer duly noted ;))
I was just confused....so it feels good but you know it won't be GREAT (orgasm great) and then you just bow out? I read on a thread where they realized he wouldn't have an orgasm and 'she climbed on top of him and had her fun.' So,-- a man can just hold his erection at will? Or if he's aroused itll stay even if he somehow internally knows he won't build up to an orgasm? I think I was mostly wondering if that felt weird or painful or generally not sexually fulfilling for a man?
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Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby caleb15 » Tue Apr 30, 2013 3:34 pm

We can't really "hold it at will" per se. I think I can try to maintain one or do the opposite and lose one consciously, but I can't just sit there and through the power of my mind keep it a flag pole. ;)
I mean... I'm not a Jedi!

As to the man who realized it wasn't going to happen and his wife getting on top.. If a man's body is being stimulated sexually, and he is mentally there then usually his erection will maintain its firmness. There are obviously exceptions with people having sexual dysfunction, and of course age plays into it... But if my wife wasn't yet satisfied and I had the physical ability to satisfy her I would keep going till she was done, even if I knew I wouldn't be reaching ultimate completion.
Also... When this is the case, it doesn't hurt, to the contrary, it still feels good.
"It is doubtful God will use a man greatly until He wounds him deeply." A.W. Tozer
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Re: Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby YesWife » Tue Apr 30, 2013 4:13 pm

Caleb15:

I just wanted to add my amusement at the irony of going to In and Out burger on your honeymoon after 2 rounds of lovemaking.

Well played.
That is all. :lol:
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Re: Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby George B. » Tue Apr 30, 2013 8:45 pm

Ruth7 wrote:Haha Mr.Emu....instructions for timer duly noted ;))
I was just confused....so it feels good but you know it won't be GREAT (orgasm great) and then you just bow out? I read on a thread where they realized he wouldn't have an orgasm and 'she climbed on top of him and had her fun.' So,-- a man can just hold his erection at will? Or if he's aroused itll stay even if he somehow internally knows he won't build up to an orgasm? I think I was mostly wondering if that felt weird or painful or generally not sexually fulfilling for a man?


a man can keep his erection as long as he's being sexually stimulated (though this doesn't always happen--depends on various factors). There have been times when I knew I wasn't going to get to an orgasm (I was too tired, for example) but I because my wife and I were enjoying ourselves I let her "use" my erection to achieve her own orgasm. The stimulation of what she's doing is enough to keep me erect though I may not get to orgasm.

Is it frustrating? Depends on how recently we've had sex and whether I need release or not. As long as I have a relaxed mental attitude about it, it's usually not a big deal. We have sex pretty often, so if I don't orgasm during one session, then I know that it'll happen soon, anyway. If I really need an orgasm, I might ask and she'll manually stimulate me (which is much more directly sexually stimulating than intercourse) until I get an orgasm after she's had hers.

Make sense? :mrgreen:
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Re: Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby Ruth7 » Wed May 01, 2013 7:29 am

Yes :) that makes sense :)) ...thanks!!
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Re: Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby George B. » Wed May 01, 2013 7:47 am

Ruth7 wrote:Yes :) that makes sense :)) ...thanks!!


hope that wasn't too much information...
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Re: Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby flyfisherwoman » Thu Jun 13, 2013 11:25 am

mr. emu wrote: Push the mauve button when he achieves full erection, and you MUST stop when the sirens go off (w/ or w/out orgasm ... even a few seconds longer can cost him--and you--his penis).


This explains DH's shrieks of pain last night. I hit the GREEN button. DANG!
Married sex is so hot.
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Re: Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby jpontow » Thu Jun 13, 2013 11:39 am

I assume every guy is a bit different. But I have never orgasmed more than once. But I do not have trouble maintaining an erection even after I orgasm. So my wife can in deed use me for her pleasure. I see nothing remotely negotiate Bering used in this way.
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Re: Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby C_Brown » Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:53 pm

Ugh... I've been having this happen a little too often for my tastes. I'm nice and hard but everything down there is working fine but some switch in my head just won't flip. At some point DW says she needs me to stop and when it happens we try to go back to it later and I'll finish then. It isn't too bad if my wife is having orgasms, I get a lot of pleasure from making her O, but there is a little bit of sadness in me if I can't O.
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Re: Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby HisHarbor » Thu Jun 13, 2013 9:12 pm

This actually happened to us on our wedding night, and at least the next day (possibly the day after that... I don't remember). I O'd pretty quickly each time, but he didn't... so we kept going until finally we just had to call it quits. He was tired, I was sore, and we knew we had the rest of our marriage. He still enjoyed it, but it honestly scared me stiff. We had prepared for me not being able to orgasm... not him. Especially after it happened the second time. I don't know what it was. Stress? probably. It has not happened again in 18 months of happily wedded marriage, and for that I am thankful. :)
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Re: Erection w/o orgasm... Explain?

Postby Maneo » Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:35 pm

Ruth7 wrote:So, people have chimed in about the refractory period being just the time between back to back erections. And a few people in various threads have mentioned having an erection without an orgasm....I don't understand? A man can still have a full erection and do PIV? And just not reach an orgasm? So does that hurt? Or is it strange? Or confusing? Like when do you know to 'stop' PIV??? ....


Some men can certainly have an erection and PIV and it may not conclude in a climax for him. Does it hurt? Nothing expect perhaps his pride. Is it strange? Not how I would describe strange. Just differences among people. Probably the average would be for a man with an erection and PIV to have a climax, but it is by no means the only outcome possible. Is it confusing? Only if you let it be.
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