How often do men really need to ejaculate?

What science can tell us about sex.

How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby Deelmo » Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:28 pm

Found this information. This is really interesting. Any thoughts on this?

http://www.reuniting.info/ejaculation_h ... ood_health
On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the least, 10 being the greatest) are you normal? I am a 1. And who's scale am I using? My wife's, of course!
Deelmo
Blanket on a secluded beach!
 
Posts: 1957
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 2:00 pm
Location: Tennessee
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 8th, 1979
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby Ernie » Thu Apr 05, 2012 4:02 am

Makes sense to me. I found that article a year ago on the Psychology Today web site. It was a while after I had given up masturbation. And I was regularly on business trips for 4-5 nights. I used to come back from my trips with aching balls, looking forward to ML with DW. Once I read that article, I decided that if my body really needed that release, that I'd have a wet dream. From that point on I've never felt that aching in my balls, and I've never had a wet dream. Go figure.

I still have the same sex drive I've always had, but I don't think my mind now perpetuates this idea that I've got to have that physical release all the time. I know to some it will sound crazy, but it's a mind over matter thing for me. Since MB is not an option for me (MB used to be a compulsive behavior), when I'm on a trip I just don't worry about that release.

However, when I'm home, I want to ML every 2-3 nights because I want that release, but also because I want the emotional connection with my DW.
wag more
bark less
User avatar
Ernie
Queen bed
 
Posts: 189
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2010 2:10 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): August 1st, 1987
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby Deelmo » Thu Apr 05, 2012 5:01 am

That was what I was thinking also. Mind over body. God gave us a brain - use it. Maybe (imho) this is why some women get so angry over the MB thing. Because they already know it can be controlled, that it's really is just a selfish thing. I just don't think about "it" and/or redirect my thoughts, unless my DW is in front of me. Thanks for your input.
On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the least, 10 being the greatest) are you normal? I am a 1. And who's scale am I using? My wife's, of course!
Deelmo
Blanket on a secluded beach!
 
Posts: 1957
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 2:00 pm
Location: Tennessee
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 8th, 1979
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby alaska bob » Thu Apr 05, 2012 5:55 am

As far as "needing" to ejaculate, that is probably accurate. But then again, I don't need to eat for two weeks to stave off starvation, I can go a full day without water without keeling over dead, and I can hold my breath for two minutes or so before passing out. Yet somehow my body tells me, whether by need or want, that its better to do those things much more regularly. I'm not even sure I believe the body actually needs to ejaculate, as I think the production of seminal fluid drops as it isn't used.

But there are consequences of going longer periods without ejaculating. For me, after about three days, I feel full, and my apetite changes. I'm "hungrier" for sex, and just like when I'm hungry, everything "edible" looks more delicious. By day ten or so, its pretty hard not to notice even a modestly attractive woman and to not respond with at least curious thoughts about her anatomy. I'm sure Jesus himself would tell you the best way to avoid temptation is to stay out of the wilderness. I think Paul alludes to this as well.

Also, pragmatically speaking, the longer you go without ejaculation, the quicker your response is during intercourse. For those of us that are already challenged with PE, the best course of action is to have regular ejaculations. For me, my staying power deteriorates from day 3 or so to day 6 or so, and from that point on, I have very little control. There's nothing quite so disappointing as going 8 days without ejaculating and then when you finally have intercourse, its over in 34.5 seconds.

I'm not sure what to make of the different studies on the effect of ejaculation frequency on prostate cancer. The studies I've heard say you have to ejaculate roughly 24 times a month to have a reduced incidence of prostate cancer, and I've long given up on that frequency. But it seems like if some studies say there is no impact and some studies say there is, it is generally better to ejaculate more frequently (that's a different conclusion than if some studies say there is a reduction in prostate cancer from frequent ejaculation and some studies say there is an increase in prostate cacner from freqeunt ejaculation).
alaska bob
King bed
 
Posts: 553
Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 8:06 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): November 7th, 1990
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby shashtzohx » Thu Apr 05, 2012 6:04 am

Clearly being a woman I am no expert in this at all and you can just dismiss me if you want but reading that article that was linked to it is not a very good scientific article. I know it wasnt meant to be a scientific article but in my profession we learned to read the literature on a topic and yes even in medicine it is important to take the sum total of the knowledge base and yes that linked article kind of looks at lots of sources. But like they have the Onania support group site linked and that is a satire thing not a true article and probably is really a bunch of guys who like to talk about masturbating so they do get off to it. I think probably men who have a healthy number of ejaculations are going to help prevent prostate cancer. Cancers can arise when there is inflammation and certainly a prostate can have that when it is totally unused. For many men it wont be a problem but for some it will be. I guess there isnt a magic number of ejaculations a man needs right? Yes the mind makes a huge difference if a guy spends all his time focusing on that and staring at womens butts or something he will be feeling it and craving it and that is not Godly. Alaska Bob makes a good point about eating and drinking water and I think ejaculating is a normal bodily function. Lust isnt and going out sleeping around isnt so those are forbidden but I think reduction in prostate cancer shown through correlation studies is pretty solid evidence. Wrote the woman who doesnt even have a prostate.
Humbly and praying for your blessings from the Lord,
Tracy
shashtzohx
King bed
 
Posts: 250
Joined: Sat Nov 19, 2011 6:01 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): June 17th, 2003
Gender: Female

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby SquarePants » Thu Apr 05, 2012 7:30 am

For those of us who are prone to chronic prostate infections, infrequent ejaculations are not a good thing. My urologist advised me of this, and my experience agrees. Delaying more than a few days is usually a bad idea. I’ve never noticed any of the physical or mental effects mentioned in the article, whether I’ve abstained or not.

Sex related publications often seem to be more agenda driven than most other areas of science. I’ve seen it from the anti-religious, “monogamy isn’t natural” faction, as well as from the “we’re too sexualized” faction. There’s also the contrarian fraction, which likes to tell you that everything you know is wrong. Researchers and commentators often make dramatic conclusions on the weakest of evidence.

Today's stimuli also spare users the bother of mastering interpersonal skills.


Comments like that smell of an agenda. The only supporting evidence that the article hints at is a dead link an article on the Playboy website, about “changing the focus of some men's sex lives away from real partners.”

Later, the article boldly states that

Curious, my husband and I began digging around for the answer. We learned that the medical profession considers ejaculation frequency irrelevant as far as prostate cancer rates are concerned.

However, it later states:
Research studies on the matter have gone both ways.


The concluding section in the article is based on the advice of a single doctor, who was apparently the one who agreed with their pre-defined conclusion. I'm not giving this article too much credibility.
User avatar
SquarePants
King bed
 
Posts: 567
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2011 8:31 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 10th, 2005
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby Ernie » Thu Apr 05, 2012 2:29 pm

Hey, I don't disagree that regular ejaculations are a good thing. I certainly do like when that happens. And I don't have PE but I do notice that regular sex allows me to last longer.

But when I'm on a trip for a week, away from home, I'm not going to obsess about the fact that I'm not getting my '24 ejaculations/month'. And you know what? My mind and body are fine with that.
wag more
bark less
User avatar
Ernie
Queen bed
 
Posts: 189
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2010 2:10 pm
Date of your marriage (past or future): August 1st, 1987
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby ledgemoor » Mon May 07, 2012 2:19 pm

My first thought on the suggestion of limiting ejaculations is: "WHY?"

If nocturnal emissions are an indicator, I only need one about every 10 years. Don't think DW would go for that.
ledgemoor
Blanket on a secluded beach!
 
Posts: 1905
Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2005 7:31 am
Location: God's country (Southeast)
Date of your marriage (past or future): May 3rd, 1982
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby Deelmo » Tue May 08, 2012 6:05 am

ledgemoor wrote:My first thought on the suggestion of limiting ejaculations is: "WHY?"

If nocturnal emissions are an indicator, I only need one about every 10 years. Don't think DW would go for that.



LOL, I hear you. My DW wouldn't either. I guess I was trying to gather some info. IMHO, most men make too much out of their so called "need". Most women don't. So then, what is normal? What defines HD or LD? Is HD and LD only applicable when two spouses differ? Shouldn't it really be a "brain thing", instead of a perceived "physical thing"? Lots of questions.
On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the least, 10 being the greatest) are you normal? I am a 1. And who's scale am I using? My wife's, of course!
Deelmo
Blanket on a secluded beach!
 
Posts: 1957
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 2:00 pm
Location: Tennessee
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 8th, 1979
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby KyWildcat » Tue May 08, 2012 6:37 am

Deelmo wrote:
ledgemoor wrote:My first thought on the suggestion of limiting ejaculations is: "WHY?"

If nocturnal emissions are an indicator, I only need one about every 10 years. Don't think DW would go for that.


LOL, I hear you. My DW wouldn't either. I guess I was trying to gather some info. IMHO, most men make too much out of their so called "need". Most women don't. So then, what is normal? What defines HD or LD? Is HD and LD only applicable when two spouses differ? Shouldn't it really be a "brain thing", instead of a perceived "physical thing"? Lots of questions.

And some of the questions are actually good questions, but there is some missing the forest for the trees in here too.

IMHO, your opinion regarding men is just that, your opinion. From PHYSICOLOGY OF THE MALE SEX DRIVE from the main TMB website:
Paul & Lori Byerly wrote:Two glands, called the seminal vesicles, produce the majority of the fluid which makes up semen. This fluid is stored in the seminal vesicles until an ejaculation is about to occur. Think of the seminal vesicles as two small bladders; and like the urinary bladder, they fill up. The fullness may or may not be noticeable as a slight pressure inside the body (not the testes), but the body signals the brain that release is needed. In a normal healthy man under 50, it takes 24 to 72 hours for the vesicles to fill up. While not getting release doesn't result in damage to the body, it can cause a sense of discomfort and make the fellow "grumpy." This is one biological reason a man feels a regular need for release.

Knowing Paul Byerly as I do, he would NOT have written this if he did not have good scientific evidence to back it up. So, while I'll agree there isn't a "need" in the sense that you will die if you do not ejaculate, there is a mechanism which triggers the brain that ejaculation is... what? Needed? Desired? Beneficial? Fun?
Deelmo wrote:So then, what is normal?

Shouldn't the question be, what is in the best interest of the marriage and the individuals in the marriage?
Deelmo wrote:What defines HD or LD?

The person to whom you are married. HD/LD is marriage specific.
Deelmo wrote:Is HD and LD only applicable when two spouses differ?

The answer to this question is obvious.
Deelmo wrote:Shouldn't it really be a "brain thing", instead of a perceived "physical thing"?

Funny, I thought the brain was a "physical thing."
Deelmo wrote:Lots of questions.

Each answered.
Marriage will show your immaturity and selfishness faster than anything on earth. You either grow up or grow apart. It's your choice.

© A Grown Up Marriage
User avatar
KyWildcat
Under the stars
 
Posts: 3167
Joined: Fri Jul 02, 2004 9:27 am
Location: The unCommonwealth of Kentucky
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 29th, 1990
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby ledgemoor » Tue May 08, 2012 7:32 am

Good questions. I have been thinking about this sort of thing too, particularly with respect to HD/LD, how and why God made us so different, etc. Here are my 2 cents.

IMHO, most men make too much out of their so called "need". Most women don't.

Shouldn't it really be a "brain thing", instead of a perceived "physical thing"?

Well, male and female physiologies differ greatly. Women don't need to ejaculate, and in fact can't at least in the way that a man does. A lot of women never orgasm until after they marry, and even then sometimes not. And when they do orgasm, it gets nice and wet sure, but not an actual ejaculation in the vast majority of cases. Apparently there is no storage facility in women that is analogous to a guy's prostate which needs emptying.

So then, what is normal?


One way to define normal is ask a bunch of guys how often they shoot their wad, and pick some arbitrary middle part of the bell curve. I'm thinking that at least daily is pretty common for men in their teens thru thirties, tapering off with age.

Want to add that while the article you reference makes a pretty good case that more sex or masturbation won't lead to better health, frequency of ejaculation is a good INDICATOR of health. I have ranged from 0 to 8 or 9 times per week while in my 50's. If it falls below three times a week, it is a signal that I need to get more exercise, deal with stress and any problems bothering me, eat better, spend more quality time with Wife, etc. Also, when my drive is low I feel the need for relief, but it takes a lot of effort to make it happen. When it is high I am just plain horny and don't neet to work at it at all -- I just do what comes naturally :-)

What defines HD or LD? Is HD and LD only applicable when two spouses differ?

LD refers to someone who has a much lower than normal sex drive for someone of their gender and age category.

Say I need it 5 times a week and she needs it twice. In popular vernacular, it would be said that I am higher-drive. However, I think that comparing sexual needs of men and women is complicated becase we are so different. In reality, counting orgasms does not determine who is HD or LD. Sure, I get a lot of charity sex -- times where I shoot my wad and she isn't interested in having an orgasm. But her need is no less than mine. Just different. When she has an orgasm, I think it is a much more intense experience. It takes her longer to get there, requires more cuddling, back rubs etc., more and longer stimulation, but there is more heavy breathing and screaming, and not uncommonly multiple orgasms.

Shouldn't it really be a "brain thing", instead of a perceived "physical thing"?

I absolutely agree, except for the "perceived" part. I think that our need to fall in love and get married the deepest human emotional need, next to our need for God. I can easily take care of my physical need (actual, not perceived!) myself. The emotional part, no. The need to give myself to a woman is as strong as my need to have her.

And I don't think the physical and emotional can be separated. We aren't computers with distinct physical, emotional, and spiritual subroutines. The most physically intense sexual experiences are accompanied by the highest emotions. Great sex comes from being in love and not vice versa. As newlyweds we sucked at the technical aspects, but our early encounters are among my most precious memories. Thank God I can't say from experience, but I don't believe there is any such a thing as "just sex". If you have sex with someone it creates an emotional bond, no way around it. That would explain why God says "don't do it" except with a spouse.
Last edited by ledgemoor on Thu Apr 24, 2014 6:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
ledgemoor
Blanket on a secluded beach!
 
Posts: 1905
Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2005 7:31 am
Location: God's country (Southeast)
Date of your marriage (past or future): May 3rd, 1982
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby sexrocks » Tue May 29, 2012 8:22 am

If men need to ejaculate frequently, how do single men (or married men who rarely have sex with their wife) not lust over women in their thought patterns? Are they doomed to fail? How do we reconcile this with, "If a man looks at a woman with lust, her has already committed adultery in his heart"? Why have such a strong biological and cultural need but then have to refrain it because it is sin (or better yet, adultery)?
sexrocks
King bed
 
Posts: 597
Joined: Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:36 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): October 20th, 2001
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby KyWildcat » Tue May 29, 2012 9:04 am

sexrocks wrote:If men need to ejaculate frequently, how do single men (or married men who rarely have sex with their wife) not lust over women in their thought patterns? Are they doomed to fail? How do we reconcile this with, "If a man looks at a woman with lust, her has already committed adultery in his heart"? Why have such a strong biological and cultural need but then have to refrain it because it is sin (or better yet, adultery)?

They masturbate w/o lust.

As for the men who rarely have sex with their wife, they may fall to temptation because of their own lack of self-control (1 Cor. 7:5).
Marriage will show your immaturity and selfishness faster than anything on earth. You either grow up or grow apart. It's your choice.

© A Grown Up Marriage
User avatar
KyWildcat
Under the stars
 
Posts: 3167
Joined: Fri Jul 02, 2004 9:27 am
Location: The unCommonwealth of Kentucky
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 29th, 1990
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby alaska bob » Tue May 29, 2012 9:09 am

sexrocks wrote:If men need to ejaculate frequently, how do single men (or married men who rarely have sex with their wife) not lust over women in their thought patterns? Are they doomed to fail? How do we reconcile this with, "If a man looks at a woman with lust, her has already committed adultery in his heart"? Why have such a strong biological and cultural need but then have to refrain it because it is sin (or better yet, adultery)?


They are not doomed to fail. But they may have more difficulty avoiding temptation. It is pretty clear in Paul's guidance that sexuality in marriage is one of the primary means by which most of us avoid sexual sin.
alaska bob
King bed
 
Posts: 553
Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 8:06 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): November 7th, 1990
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby sexrocks » Tue May 29, 2012 10:25 am

KyWildcat wrote:
sexrocks wrote:If men need to ejaculate frequently, how do single men (or married men who rarely have sex with their wife) not lust over women in their thought patterns? Are they doomed to fail? How do we reconcile this with, "If a man looks at a woman with lust, her has already committed adultery in his heart"? Why have such a strong biological and cultural need but then have to refrain it because it is sin (or better yet, adultery)?

They masturbate w/o lust.

As for the men who rarely have sex with their wife, they may fall to temptation because of their own lack of self-control (1 Cor. 7:5).


That's such a Christian answer.

Men masturbate without lust? Possible, yes; In reality, I highly doubt it.
sexrocks
King bed
 
Posts: 597
Joined: Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:36 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): October 20th, 2001
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby KyWildcat » Tue May 29, 2012 10:29 am

sexrocks wrote:
KyWildcat wrote:
sexrocks wrote:If men need to ejaculate frequently, how do single men (or married men who rarely have sex with their wife) not lust over women in their thought patterns? Are they doomed to fail? How do we reconcile this with, "If a man looks at a woman with lust, her has already committed adultery in his heart"? Why have such a strong biological and cultural need but then have to refrain it because it is sin (or better yet, adultery)?

They masturbate w/o lust.

As for the men who rarely have sex with their wife, they may fall to temptation because of their own lack of self-control (1 Cor. 7:5).


That's such a Christian answer.

Thank you. What other kind of answer would you expect from me or from anyone on this board?
sexrocks wrote:Men masturbate without lust? Possible, yes; In reality, I highly doubt it.

What other non-sinful option is there for a single horny person?
Marriage will show your immaturity and selfishness faster than anything on earth. You either grow up or grow apart. It's your choice.

© A Grown Up Marriage
User avatar
KyWildcat
Under the stars
 
Posts: 3167
Joined: Fri Jul 02, 2004 9:27 am
Location: The unCommonwealth of Kentucky
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 29th, 1990
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby sexrocks » Tue May 29, 2012 10:38 am

KyWildcat wrote:As for the men who rarely have sex with their wife, they may fall to temptation because of their own lack of self-control (1 Cor. 7:5).[/color]


That's such a Christian answer. [/quote]
Thank you. What other kind of answer would you expect from me or from anyone on this board?

One that speaks more broadly to the vast, vast majority of men in the world.

sexrocks wrote:Men masturbate without lust? Possible, yes; In reality, I highly doubt it.

What other non-sinful option is there for a single horny person?[/quote]

Oh none, I suppose.
sexrocks
King bed
 
Posts: 597
Joined: Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:36 am
Date of your marriage (past or future): October 20th, 2001
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby KyWildcat » Tue May 29, 2012 10:43 am

sexrocks wrote:One that speaks more broadly to the vast, vast majority of men in the world.

It speaks to any willing man.
sexrocks wrote:
KyWildcat wrote:
sexrocks wrote:Men masturbate without lust? Possible, yes; In reality, I highly doubt it.

What other non-sinful option is there for a single horny person?

Oh none, I suppose.

Which makes my point.
Marriage will show your immaturity and selfishness faster than anything on earth. You either grow up or grow apart. It's your choice.

© A Grown Up Marriage
User avatar
KyWildcat
Under the stars
 
Posts: 3167
Joined: Fri Jul 02, 2004 9:27 am
Location: The unCommonwealth of Kentucky
Date of your marriage (past or future): December 29th, 1990
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby ledgemoor » Tue May 29, 2012 11:41 am

sexrocks wrote:If men need to ejaculate frequently, how do single men (or married men who rarely have sex with their wife) not lust over women in their thought patterns? Are they doomed to fail? How do we reconcile this with, "If a man looks at a woman with lust, her has already committed adultery in his heart"? Why have such a strong biological and cultural need but then have to refrain it because it is sin (or better yet, adultery)?


Well, the keyword here is "adultery", something that two single people cannot commit. And "lust" is not necessarily sinful. It just means "strong desire". It depends on what you are lusting for as to whether it is a sin or not. An engaged persion is of course going to have a strong desire to be with his/her fiancee. Someone who is not dating is going to have a strong desire to find a boyfriend/girlfriend to eventually get engaged to and married to.

So while it is OK to lust after a fiancee, that's not the same as imagining yourself having sex with them. Not going there on this post. :D

A married man who rarely have sex, that's a tough one. His only option is to lust after his wife, or better yet have sex more often.
ledgemoor
Blanket on a secluded beach!
 
Posts: 1905
Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2005 7:31 am
Location: God's country (Southeast)
Date of your marriage (past or future): May 3rd, 1982
Gender: Male

Re: How often do men really need to ejaculate?

Postby sammie » Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:38 am

Can a man seriously go a year without ejaculating (partner or solo)? Especially if he is a woman watcher/flirt and has a past filled with porn and masturbation? I would really love to hear thoughts on this one!
sammie
Twin size
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2007 11:44 am

Next

Return to The Science of Sex

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 0 guests