how much sex on the honeymoon?

What's supposed to happen on the wedding night? Will it hurt? What if I'm not a virgin? ...

how much sex on the honeymoon?

Postby nanda » Wed Dec 09, 2009 3:00 pm

So my fiance and I are getting married in February. we are both virgins but both really "burning with passion" I think we both have probably equal sex drives. on the scale of 1-10: 1 being not wanting sex often, and 10 being wanting sex all the time we both rank probably around 9.

My question is if we have no trouble on the honeymoon (ie she is not hurting and no infections, etc...), how much is a normal amount of sex? obviously this is a relative subject and probably varies per couple. I guess I am just wanting to know anyone who cares to share their experience how much time they spent having sex on their honeymoon.

thanks.
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Re: how much sex on the honeymoon?

Postby hubbyforher » Wed Dec 09, 2009 3:09 pm

"normal" is relative to the couple. On your honeymoon, you'll likely be playing around and exploring one another alot, but you won't always O. I think I went about 4 times one day, and was completely exhausted.

You'll likely O several times each day, and simply play around several hours in the morning, a "nooner" (always fun), a little afternoon delight, and in the evening. But don't worry if either you or your FW needs a break. Just communicate with each other. If you're whooped, and feel like you may be getting sore, simply tell her, and take care of her manually or with OS. There's many fun roads to the destination.

Make sure you take lube with you. You don't want either of you to get raw... that's no fun. KY is an obvious one, CO is popular around here, and there are many others.

Glad to hear you're both a "9". You're going to have a great time. Just stay relaxed, and make sure your FW always feels loved, secure, and beautiful. You'll know it, but you gotta let her know it!
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Re: how much sex on the honeymoon?

Postby Southern Belle » Wed Dec 09, 2009 3:20 pm

Have some water therapy- jacuuzzi's or hot tubs are nice to help make things more comfy. Very soothing. WET -strawberry is good and avail. at Wallie.
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Re: how much sex on the honeymoon?

Postby Crown of Iron » Wed Dec 09, 2009 3:37 pm

Two words: Honeymoon Cystitus.
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Re: how much sex on the honeymoon?

Postby Job29Man » Wed Dec 09, 2009 5:10 pm

Welcome Nanda,

This reminds me of an old thread here.. There was a lot of good stuff there.

Here's my post from that thread.

Adam-OH wrote:
Adam-OH wrote:What can make it more enjoyable for the both of us? I want it to be perfect.

I am often amazed at how some mature couples have kept the fire alive for so many years. I can only hope it will be that way for us. I would like to hear from mature men who have been married for years. What makes things work for you? I am open to any advice or guidence you have to offer. I have had alot of mature male friends in the past , and have found them to be most wise in these matters. There are certain things only men can relate to. I don't have any older friends to talk to these days......I miss thier advice......If anything I know I'll make some really good friends here....Thanks for your time.

Adam




Dear Adam,

Welcome to TMB. You will undoubtedly find good friends here. I applaud you for seeking advice from older brothers. One thing that was kind of hard for me to get used to at first on TMB was talking to the women about sex. IRL (in real life) circles that is something I would NEVER do! :shock: It just is not proper! But here on TMB you will learn that some of a man's best counsel can come from the sisters. The culture here is that our discussions are not "sexual", rather they are "about sex" and there is a big difference.

It may feel awkward at first to talk so frankly about sex, especially when some of the conversation participants are women. But part of the genius of TMB is that it is anonymous. And there is a really sharp "Oversight Group" (OG) that is able to discern those who are here for ulterior motives, and the OG removes those threats quickly. All that to say, this is a safe environment to talk about sex and many more aspects of marriage.

I am a man, over 50 years old, married almost 30 years, 10 children, farmer/rancher/businessman. DW (dear wife) and I have a peaceful, very happy marriage, and an incredible sex life (variety, frequency, intensity, adventurousness)! It is no small feat to keep a marriage HOT ::alarm through the bearing of so many children! I credit that to an awesome God to whom we are completely dedicated, and to marrying the most generous, selfless, giving woman in the world! ::luv2

Also we spent so much time talking out a hundred potential issues BEFORE we married. You are so wise to seek counsel before marriage. The time you spend NOW discussing things will help immensely "when the moment finally arrives."

Adam, I think that a lot of us older men (and women) would say don't focus so much on the first night being "perfect". In fact, from a technical standpoint, your first night surely will NOT be perfect. But that is perfect! Imagine that sex is like playing the trumpet. On your wedding day God hands you a beautiful trumpet and says "I would not let you play it before, but you may play it now. In fact I WANT you to play this trumpet now." So you place the horn to your lips and you imagine that you are about to play a glorious concerto trumpet solo. Here it is, the BIG MOMENT, you blow for all you are worth and all that comes out is a loud "BBBLLLLAAAAATT". Not at all what you had imagined. Not a glorious melody, just a PPPPPPrrrrrrrrrrrrrbbbbb. At first you want to be embarassed, but then you look at God, Who is smiling, and He says "That was not bad son. In fact your lung capacity shows promise. Here hold your lips this way, tighten up your gut and try again." Next time you hear something like a solid "C" note, although it is over in a second instead of holding for 10 seconds like you wanted. On and on it goes... you get better, and better, etc.

What I'm saying is the first night is just about getting familiar with the horn, not playing symphonic music. You should not expect much. Just be there and caress the horn. Explore the parts, blow on it, hear the sounds, try again.

In practical terms, here is what I would expect on the first night. Bring lots of KY lubrication, take manly leadership in seducing her, but display manly self-discipline in making love to her. Go slowly, as slowly as she says. If you start in, and she says "ouch pull back" then that is what you will do. You may be so excited that you may ejaculate even before you can penetrate her. That is OK! It is not failure! She should be patient with you too. Guess what? You can try again when you feel "up" to it. You have all night. You have all week. You have all your lives!! :D

If the question is put to most of us asking "from a pleasure meter standpoint how was the sex on your wedding night?" we'd probably answer "it was not fireworks, it was OK". But if you ask us "how was the emotional intimacy on your wedding night?" many or most would answer "WOW :D ::alarm It was amazing! HOT! Fireworks! I will remember it till the day I die!"

So Adam, don't seek sexual excellence on the big night. Be happy just to have something that kind of looks like sexual intercourse. (Blow on the horn and be happy with ANY sound that comes out of it!). Let me share with you what an older brother in Christ advised me before my wedding. It was the best advice I ever got. He said...

"Be ecstatic if you can both achieve an orgasm in the same room on the same night, by any means whatsoever."

Do not expect to give your virgin wife an orgasm through PIV (penis in vagina intercourse) on your first night. Almost certainly you will NOT give her an orgasm through intercourse on that first night. (I'd put your chances at 1 in 500) And that is NORMAL, it is beautiful, it is OK! If you can give her an orgasm sometime in the first three days through OS (oral sex) or MS (manual stimulation) you may consider yourself a success, a really good lover! If you cannot give her an orgasm by those means in that time frame it does NOT mean you have failed. It just means you need more practice, and that is OK! It will come to you.

But in all these days let your wife be your guide. Let her control the pace, because it is HER body that needs to go through the most change, and probably some soreness, or outright pain.

Plan on spending about 3-4 times as much time caressing her vulva and clitoris as you spend inside her with your penis. Women need this clitoral stimulation and preparation time. She may have LOTS of personal moisture that makes this easy. She may have almost none! You must bring a couple of big bottles of KY lubrication with you. Bring a couple of different kinds (gel, natural, regular, warming...) and try them each out. But start with the basic kind.

There will likely be some blood. That is natural and good. Bring a towel (from home, don't use a hotel towel) to bed and place it under her bottom so you don't bloody the sheets. She will be embarrassed to leave blood on the sheets or the hotel towels for housekeeping staff to see. Be sensitive to that.

Her body may become "conditioned" to having you inside her in a matter of days. It may take weeks. It could take months. It's all good. Don't have an expectation of vigorous sex very soon. It may be, might not. It's all good.

Plan "other activities" to do on your honeymoon to take her out and give her a rest from sex. Go sailing, go swimming, hot tub, visit a National Park, dinner, museum, amusement park rides like Disney. Don't make the whole days about sex. But don't exhaust yourselves with "other activities", keep a slow pace. Take at least a week for honeymoon. Two weeks is better. Don't take ANY business calls on this trip. In fact you would do well to leave your cell phone at home, or take a disposable phone with you that no one knows the phone number. You don't want ANYONE calling you on your honeymoon. Your new bride WILL surely resent you taking calls. Don't do it!

Camping may sound like a romantic honeymoon. With few exceptions it is a very, very BAD idea! A virgin bride needs a room with a locking door, a private bath, indoor plumbing, even a separate room to change in (for some brides).

HYGEINE IS BIG: Keep your fingernails trimmed. Wash your hands after using the bathroom. Never touch her anus first and then her vagina with the same fingers! Insist that she go pee after every time of intercourse or you will wind up with a crying bride, who is 500 miles from her doctor, and is in great pain with a UTI (urinary tract infection), sometimes called "Honeymooners Disease" because newlyweds forget, or dont' know enough, to pee after sex. It washes away germs introduced through intercourse. Brush your teeth, use mouthwash, shave your face twice a day (trust me on this). Take lots of hot soaking baths together. BRING BUBBLEBATH! She will be SORE after sex and will appreciate a good hot soak in the tub with you.

Drink very, very little alcohol, or NONE. Just have enough for an intimate dinner. If you view the honeymoon as a very physical thing you will want to be in peak form. Alcohol will diminish your abilities. Let her love intoxicate you!

Stay with "missionary position" the first few times until she is without pain. If she suggests a different position at any time the answer is "Yes my love."

By all means bring your Bibles and study the Word together. Bring another few books about marriage and sex to read together.

Leave the "advanced sex" manuals, toys, costumes, etc at home. If she makes a big deal out of lingerie, even if it's not your thing, learn to love it! She does it because she loves you! The honeymoon is about Sex 101. It is not Grad School, that comes later.

Don't put pressure on her for OS (oral sex) or any other "advanced technique". You have the next 50 years to discover these things together.

But if she seems open to you giving her OS, by all means do so. I think I might wait a day or two for this, but you figure it out as you go.

Ladies please forgive me, but this is "guy talk" here. Adam have you ever purchased a new car or truck with a diesel engine? You need to let it warm up a long time, then when you drive it slowly, not accelerating quickly. Then when you are done with your first 20 trips you don't just shut off the motor, you sit in the parking lot and let it Purrrrr for about 5 full minutes, "cooling down". Then you shut it off and get under the hood, and check the fluid levels. You wash the car, keep the tires inflated, change the filters, etc. And when you are driving what are you looking at the whole time? The gauges that's what!! Always be aware of the engine temperature, the RPMs (don't red line it the first month!), the oil pressure, the alternator. And LISTEN, listen, listen to the sounds of the engine! Detect any vibrations, tick, clicks, and get on them EARLY. Don't let bad sounds persist. Figure them out immediately!

Remember that although you are her Head and she is to submit to you, there is an interesting twist in the bedroom. The Bible says that she actually has authority over your body. So if she asks you to shave a beard, this you must do. If she asks you to not drink alcohol, if she asks you to lose weight, to eat healthy food, to take a shower, etc this then is what you must do. Read 1 Cor 7 for more info.

There's so much to tell. This is a start. What kinds of specific questions do you have now?
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Re: how much sex on the honeymoon?

Postby Growing » Wed Dec 09, 2009 6:17 pm

Job, I never saw this post the first time around, but it is wonderful! I wish someone had given my h that type of a talk before marriage! Frankly, I think it would be great if all young grooms got such a talk right before marriage. Now if some wise women would only write a equally great post for new brides. You could put them together in a little tract and sell it. :D If I knew how to put in the best of thread, I would!
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Re: how much sex on the honeymoon?

Postby Job29Man » Wed Dec 09, 2009 7:43 pm

Growing wrote:If I knew how to put in the best of thread, I would!


I already did. :oops:
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Re: how much sex on the honeymoon?

Postby boaz4ruth » Wed Dec 09, 2009 10:46 pm

In answer to "how much sex is normal on the honeymoon", the answer would be simply, "However much you want." There's no "normal" amount. Just whatever you feel the desire for. Don't even plan for "how much". Just do what you feel like doing.
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Re: how much sex on the honeymoon?

Postby Job29Man » Thu Dec 10, 2009 7:23 am

On our honeymoon I got so sore that I had to walk slowly with legs slightly akimbo the first and second days. DW got sore enough to really appreciate soaking in the jacuzzi. We didn't press on through the pain very much, but backed off enough to allow each the time to "heal up" a bit. Jacuzzis were VERY helpful. My soreness was mostly from long sustainment of erections (hours at a time), hers was not from long intercourse but just being a first timer. I'd say 3-5 times a day was an average.
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Re: how much sex on the honeymoon?

Postby Mr. Rkt » Thu Dec 10, 2009 7:46 am

Every couple is different. We lived 75 miles apart until the day we were married, so we had never been able to just enjoy each other's constant company all the time. Besides introducing sex to our lives, we also wanted to enjoy the vacation together, get used to being together, and do fun things out. So we made love once or twice a day during the trip, and spent lots of time visiting and cuddling; but we also did a lot of sightseeing, which I'm really glad we did. It cemented that place in our romantic memories, and we cherish getting to go back there. Each one of those sites brings back memories of the honeymoon.
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Re: how much sex on the honeymoon?

Postby christianlover » Thu Dec 10, 2009 8:01 am

Great advice, Job.

We probably averaged around 4 times a day, still went sightseeing some, went to church, and just enjoyed being together.
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Re: how much sex on the honeymoon?

Postby 2gether4ever94 » Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:39 pm

Job,

That was probably one of if not the best posts I've ever read. Excellent excellent advice to put it into a context he already has experience with was very wise. I like many others I'm sure wish that I had had that talk spoken to me when we got married.


Adam,

I ain't gonna get much better than what Job told you.

Best thing I can say is this..........Read what Job said until ya have it memorized by heart, then relax, and enjoy.

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Re: how much sex on the honeymoon?

Postby sthrngent2 » Fri Dec 11, 2009 10:45 am

Job and others are sooo right.

Our wedding night was at the end of a very hectic day, and disapointing. I am like many others, I wish I had someone to tell me things. The main thing is, DON'T FORGET OR NEGLECT THE LUBE!!!! I thought those things were supposed to fit together. I thought it came naturally. Do not depend upon HER to bring what she needs or even to know what she needs. You must find out ad make sure you have it, I did not know that and it was a disaster. It is no wonder my wife does not like sex, her first experience with it would turn anyone against it. I thought she was deliberately blocking entry by tightening her mucles, but now I have learned about a condition known as vaginusmus wher the pelvic floor mucles tighten as an automatic response to the opening being touched. I am trying to believe it was that and not her dred of giving up her virginity which caused us so much trouble.

After long forplay, gentle caressing, me giving her oral stimulation and finally lubricating her with my salava, (we did not have lube, didn't know we needed it) after 2 hours of actual attempting to penatrate, we finially did. I did not try to force it in or ram her. I was worn completely out and strung out and frustrated. After entry, when I was finially enjoying the feeling of copulation, she was patting me on the back like a wrestling referee, asking if I had gotten a release yet, wanting it to b over with.

After that, she was too sore, and that was the only sex of our honeymoon. Lots of travel, sightseeing. (from NC to Montrial, then back to my parents in Va on the return trip.) We did on the fifth day heading home, have sex again. Again too sore, but she did allow a quickie. Back home 4 days later we had sex once more before she started her period. No sex then for another 10 days.

So bottom line, once on our 5 day honeymoon. I do hope you do much better than that. What we did "aint no way to start off" what is supposed ot be a marriage. Although the sightseeing was enjoyable, the honeymoon became littl more than a frustrating, tireing, grueling trip. There was no money to live it up a little or do things which cost more that the gasoline.

Have sex on purpose, play around with each other's body, relax, have fun, explore, be lighthearted, set no deadlines of objectives, (plan so as to make the most of the time and do special things, but not overplan) I hope she can touch you like she is enjoying it instead of doing her duty. Travel within your available money, and if you do nto have nay money, then forget it until you do.

And remember, YOU DO NEED THE LUBE.
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Re: how much sex on the honeymoon?

Postby nanda » Fri Dec 11, 2009 3:12 pm

sweet.
thanks everyone for your input. Job, that was great advice. We'll let you know how it goes. :)
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