This is for 1956vintage. I'm a 1954 vintage, have diabetes and ED. I can sometimes get an erection, but many times am markedly soft. Here is some things that might help, just suggestions that I have found helpful in my own life. Don't give up sex. You don't make love to DH with just your
, you make love to her with all of you. I have also found that bringing DW to orgasm before PIV sex helps her to be satisfied, no matter what follows, and have found that her being aroused before PIV intercourse helps (if you have been reading TMB, uh, duh, eh?).
We tend to use rear entry, or a modified missionary position, both with DW on the edge of the bed, and me standing (bed is higher than most, these positions may take some bed mods) and if I am not hard, we rub me in and around her opening and clitoris (sorry, tmi, but this ED thing can suck (not in the good way)) to enhance whatever erectness we have and to enter, we "stuff".
I have also found (reading and experimentation (all the DW's are built the same and very different at the same time - our creator is wonderful)) that there are parts of the clitoris that extend back, down and around the vaginal opening (see diagram (note, the source page for this diagram does show a picture of the external female genitals, but the diagram is just that (a diagram) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Clito ... led-en.svg
)). These parts are behind the area of the labia majora and labia minor and behind the "inbetween" them. They are called the crus clitoris, and the bulbs of the vestibule. By experimentation (using fingers), it appears that gentle to medium pressure stimulation in this area, and just inside the vaginal opening (using side and back pressure) can cause these to fill with blood, or in some other way to become somewhat engorged. This makes things "tighter" and gives DW more stimulation with a less than fully erect
. This, combined with stimulation of the labia and direct clitoral stimulation brings DW to O and prepares for what comes later. Sex can be as exciting with a "softie" as with a full erection, and DW has been known to have multiple Os from a less than fully hard
. I would like to add that there are strong corrolation between the male and female genitalia with reference to "parts". Her clitoris is analagous to the penis, of course, but the flesh that makes up the labia is what in a male makes up the testicular sack. Like having your "balls" and sack manipulated gently / possibly more agressively than gentle? DW may like play with her labia. Try (gently, until you know her sensitivity) try pulling the labia minora, the way people do with beagle ears (sorry, could not think of a better description), alternate side to side, and change sides by massaging up, over and around and under the clitoral hood. As described before, the area of the labia majora may also be sensitive, and gently pulling both together with the inner labia can be very stimulating. Direct stimulation of the outer lips and the hollows of the thighs can be very pleasurable, as well as the area between the vaginal opening and the anus. Um, I know this has been very TMI, but it is what I have found out by not being willing to give up married sex in my mid fifties, as at least one member of the family in a previous generation (DW's side of the family). I hope this helps some, it has me. There are techniques here that are not restricted to use with ED, so if you find any of this interesting (all the rest of you), umm, get out (in) there and do your homework. Again, hope this was helpful and not too TMI.
Romance, flowers and nice suprises are high interest bearing accounts.