Challenges of Sex after Menopause

Menopause - how it impacts your health, your sexuality, and your life in general.
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Job29Man
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Re: Challenges of Sex after Menopause

Postby Job29Man » Wed Jan 25, 2017 8:58 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: Great question!!

The horse is next to our property. I think we can do the "warm up" at home first, then I can take her to the stable.

Thanks for the reminder. Still hasn't happened. We all came down sick for a long time. Chest thing, hanging on for 8 weeks now! Ugh!
Wanting to become like Job, as described in the Bible, the book of Job chapter 29. Hence the screen name.

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Re: Challenges of Sex after Menopause

Postby MyWifesMan » Wed Jan 25, 2017 12:41 pm

BTW, Job, if you ever did happen to need a second job, I'm almost certain you would make a fantastic, highly enthusiastic sex toy salesman! :lol: - ya sold ME!

(Sees Cowboy Job wearing his hat, on at 3 a.m. on the QVC shopping channel: "Hey, you'll not only get all the wonderful attachments, but just for next 100 callers, we're also gonna throw in a nice pair of sexy boots!")

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Re: Challenges of Sex after Menopause

Postby MyWifesMan » Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:34 pm

Seriously though, Job, it's great to learn of what a blessing that device has been for you and your DW, and I'm so glad this thread exposed others to its proven potential. We will have to seriously consider it. As you say, the cost is well worth the investment (Oh, and I realize its not just some "toy.").

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Re: Challenges of Sex after Menopause

Postby Olorin » Sun Jan 29, 2017 6:46 am

My wife has had problems with arousal and orgasm through most of our marriage. Unfortunately, we did not try to address this seriously until after she went through menopause (long story, I have told it here before). Our current love-making routine starts by me giving her a 20-40 minute neck-back-butt massage using a Hitachi wand and plenty of coconut oil. While I am doing this, she is on her stomach using another wand to gently massage her genitals. Without going into too many details, after the massage we continue foreplay with the wand and then usually with same manual stimulation she becomes aroused and actually develops some natural lubrication, but seems to stop short of orgasm. Typically, at this point her genitals become too sensitive to touch. I would dearly love to try to the Eroscillator, but my wife (who is very frugal) has frowned on spending that much money on what seems to be an electric toothbrush. Hearing about how successful it has been, though, is making me reconsider!

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Re: Challenges of Sex after Menopause

Postby Romantic Husband » Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:50 am

Anyone have any other suggestions that don't involve a sex toy or other device? My DW is post-menopausal, and has had problems in recent months with atrophy and dryness, both of which cause pain. She is and always has been very shy and conservative in sexual matters, and is very uncomfortable with such devices. I don't think it would be productive to push that issue with her, and out of respect, I won't.

What seems to have been most effective for us, is to take much more time in foreplay. In our case, that's 30 minutes or so. That probably doesn't seem like much to some of you, but that's a big change for us from earlier times when she could become aroused almost as quickly as I could. Our foreplay consists of lots of kissing and touching, and a whole lot of digital stimulation of her with coconut oil to prepare. I then massage her labia and clitoris with my penis, but don't attempt to enter with more than the tip. That's enough to get me to O, but not her. After 20 minutes or so, she'll move to on top and take charge of the motion, and eventually not only O's but gets me completely inside. Fortunately, (with the help of Cialis) I am able to maintain enough of an erection to manage this.

By the time we're through, we're talking about in excess of an hour, which I consider a blessing, not a problem. It works for us, and we end up tired and happy, but I would like to know what works for other couples.

We don't consider ourselves old, just slightly more high-maintenance than we used to be!
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Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

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Re: Challenges of Sex after Menopause

Postby ledgemoor » Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:35 am

Romantic Husband wrote:Anyone have any other suggestions that don't involve a sex toy or other device?
See the second post to this thread.

DW's vaginal atrophy was so bad that she had this white yucky stuff coming out of it. They thought it was a yeast infection at first. They finally figured out it was low estrogen. They put her on Estrace, a topical estrogen cream. It worked. That is the standard treatment for this problem. However, the estrace just treated the symptom. Getting her blood hormone levels up to normal for a healthy post-menopausal women solved that and many other problems.

---------------

For anyone wanting to try the eroscillator but don't want to spend the money, take a look at the Satisfyer Pro. There is a thread about it. It is much cheaper and reports from its users are good. It uses suction to stimulate the clitoris. It is the only device we have ever had that DW consistently uses.
Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside your comfort zone (Jamie Lee Curtis)

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Re: Challenges of Sex after Menopause

Postby Romantic Husband » Sun Jan 29, 2017 2:26 pm

We tried a cream prescribed by her gynecologist and compounded by the pharmacist that contained estrogen and testosterone, but no results.
Matthew 19:26 - With God all things are possible.
Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

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Re: Challenges of Sex after Menopause

Postby ledgemoor » Sun Jan 29, 2017 3:41 pm

Sorry to hear that. Try another doctor. DW got very little results from the first doctor she went to. With the second, it took a while. They had to increase her dosages several times to get it dialed in. People need different amounts, and different people's skin absorbs it differently.

Postmenopausal symptoms are a result of low hormone levels. If these levels are corrected, I don't see how it could not work.

BTW, your wife's doctor was correct to start her out on a small dosage. Better too little than too much. But it typically needs to be increased from the first dose. The cream should contain estriol and estrodial (estrogens), testosterone, and progesterone BTW. Taking estrogen without progesterone is generally not recommended due to cancer risk plus other health benefits of progesterone.
Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside your comfort zone (Jamie Lee Curtis)

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Re: Challenges of Sex after Menopause

Postby Romantic Husband » Sun Jan 29, 2017 6:48 pm

Thank you, I appreciate the feedback. It looks like I need to do some more research.
Matthew 19:26 - With God all things are possible.
Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

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Re: Challenges of Sex after Menopause

Postby MyWifesMan » Sun Jan 29, 2017 9:01 pm

Ledgemoor: Postmenopausal symptoms are a result of low hormone levels. If these levels are corrected, I don't see how it could not work.


Is such treatment now mostly considered safe by the medical community - or is there still lot's of controversy over the practice?

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Re: Challenges of Sex after Menopause

Postby ledgemoor » Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:03 pm

It's still controversial.

Some background: when hormone replacement therapy first came out, using non-bioidentical hormones (estrogen extracted from pregnant mare urine, trade name Premarin), a study indicated that there was a small uptick in cancer. The press got ahold of it and blew it out of proportion. One of DW's oncologists feels that the risk is acceptable.

There is no evidence that bioidentical HRT carries any risk. There was one small study that showed no increased risk, but there have not been any big studies on it. BHRT is like naturally - occurring human hormones and therefore is not patentable. So there is not a lot of incentive for pharmaceutical companies to study or market it.

It makes sense that normalizing your body chemistry would not be risky. And millions of women are on BHRT, starting 30 years ago, and there is no rash of health problems with these women.

On the other hand, the symptoms of low hormones -- being overweight, depressed, and tired with a compromised a compromised immune system has definite risks. We both have been on it for 7 years and rarely ever catch a cold or get sick.

BHRT is gaining popularity. It isn't mainstream medicine yet, but there are more and more doctors offering it -- not just "alternative medicine" doctors, but mainstream ob/gyns and the like.
Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside your comfort zone (Jamie Lee Curtis)


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