From No Sex Drive to "What Is Going On With Me?!"

Low or no sex drive?
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AngloCath
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From No Sex Drive to "What Is Going On With Me?!"

Postby AngloCath » Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:14 pm

Hi, new user here. I was here over 10 years ago before I was married. Now...well...I've been married for 10 years. We have two kids, so this wasn't always a problem. =)

Anyhow, here's my issue, I want to know if I'm right to be concerned. For the past few years, I've had little-to-no sex drive. My commute is ridiculous; I leave early and get home late. We have two small children, so by the time we get them to bed, my wife and I are pretty tired. My wife has wanted sex more than I've been able to. And although I love her dearly, I honestly lost that sexual spark. Oral sex, fondling, intercourse, all that...no desire. Spooning in bed to sleep was as close as that went.

I have Major Depressive Disorder, so I'm assuming that this *had* something to do with this; or at least in part. I'm only 40; this should not be a fallow time hormonally.

Well, "had" is the key word. I've went from not wanting to do anything with the Missus after work...to thinking constantly about being between her legs. This only happened last week. When I'm around her, all I want to do is sniff her, hold her, fondle her (she's had to smack me a few times)...and well, the rest.

When we were making love on Saturday, which I aggressively instigated, we were at it for hours. I felt like a playful boy, exploring his best friend carefully. And, suffice it to say, we both climaxed pretty hard. (And I was ready to go shortly afterward...she less so.)

And that's awesome, really. I'm so happy that I am so sexually attracted and desirous toward her. But...it's almost insane. This morning, before I got up, I *had* to take care of myself before I showered so I could function like a normal human being. At work, I'm easily distracted.

The timing is opportune; we're going for Kid Number Three, and this is a very fertile week (gotta love NFP). I mean, if I needed any motive energy to make a child, well, I've got that in abundance now. But, it's been so long that I'm not sure if this is just the usual male sexual response or if it's more than normal—and if I'm alone in dealing with this. I think I'm okay, but as someone with depression, I treat any new and different emotional state with extreme skepticism and concern.

Pax Christi sit semper vobiscum,
AngloCath John
Last edited by AngloCath on Tue Feb 09, 2016 12:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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SquarePants
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Re: From No Sex Drive to "WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME?!"

Postby SquarePants » Mon Feb 08, 2016 2:41 pm

Your libido sounds pretty normal for some of us. For me, it's like that hour after hour, day after day, year after year, decade after decade... always hungry. However, for you, I'm a little curious about the change. Have you changed medications? SSRIs are notorious for wiping out libido and making it hard to have an orgasm if you try.

Also, are noticing any other "hyper' symptoms? I think that it's prudent to make sure that you aren't beginning a manic episode. You don't have bipolar tendencies, do you?

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Re: From No Sex Drive to "WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME?!"

Postby ghostrider » Mon Feb 08, 2016 3:02 pm

SquarePants wrote: I think that it's prudent to make sure that you aren't beginning a manic episode.

Just curious, what is this exactly and what does it look like?

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Re: From No Sex Drive to "WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME?!"

Postby SquarePants » Mon Feb 08, 2016 3:10 pm

I'm probably wrong about this, but I thought that it's worth mentioning. If he's not exhibiting any other symptoms, then maybe he can rule it out.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-a-manic-episode/
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/manic-episode/

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AngloCath
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Re: From No Sex Drive to "WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME?!"

Postby AngloCath » Mon Feb 08, 2016 4:43 pm

SquarePants wrote:Your libido sounds pretty normal for some of us. For me, it's like that hour after hour, day after day, year after year, decade after decade... always hungry. However, for you, I'm a little curious about the change. Have you changed medications? SSRIs are notorious for wiping out libido and making it hard to have an orgasm if you try.

Also, are noticing any other "hyper' symptoms? I think that it's prudent to make sure that you aren't beginning a manic episode. You don't have bipolar tendencies, do you?

Nope, same meds I've been on for years: buproprion SR. I'm religious on taking them same time everyday.

The rest of the markers of mania don't seem to be in play. I'm able to sleep (although I've been much more grabby in my sleep, apparently), no major hyperness, no delusions of grandeur, etc. etc. After dealing with MDD for most of my life, I am good at analysing these things.

But wow. Aside from being a little over enthusiastic for wifely attention, I'm able to function. I just haven't felt like this in years. YEARS. And it was as if a switch was flipped.

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