Ken Nair's Books

What marriage resources have been helpful or encouraging to you?

Re: Ken Nair's Books

Postby javaContour » Mon Jan 05, 2015 11:34 am

I did read it, back in 2003 when my now ex-wife was having an affair.

When I contacted Dr Nair, he never called me back.

I find there is no answer to the dichotomy between the reality that not 100% of people respond favorably to Christ himself, but then there is this expectation that if only husbands where to be more Christlike, their wives would respond favorably.

There was no one more Christlike than Christ, yet not all who shared the same window of Earthly time with him responded. Some did, but that was the minority response, not the majority.

If you examine the Biblical accounts as well as how people respond to the Gospel today, you'll find the few respond favorably to Christ.

How do you explain Romans 1:18-32 , where God gives them over to their sinful desires. After having been exposed to the Gospel, essentially being exposed to Christ, Christ was rejected. How can that be if Christ is so compelling that one could not fail to respond to such a Christ-like presence?

Am I saying don't be Christlike, don't be understanding, don't care about your wives? Of course not. What I'm saying is that even a caring God will give you over to your sinful desires. So how can authors like Nair heap unwarranted condemnation on husbands when their wives don't honor their vows? Matthew 23:1-36

I don't think anyone has issue with being a better husband, no one here has suggested they have a problem with living with his wife in an understanding way. The issue is the unbalanced and Biblical half-truths presented. The angst is over how similar the condemnation presented by Nair is to the condemnation heaped on the Jews by the Pharisees.

So what we are saying is we find Nair to be lacking when it comes to being Christlike. He's more like a Pharisee than like Christ.


Re: Ken Nair's Books

Postby Vilnius » Mon Jan 19, 2015 2:51 am

I did not attend any sessions like the above poster (jedevane) did, I just read the book. And I have to say my experience and results were as he says. It is very easy to criticize this book, but the fruit in our life after reading and applying it has be very good.

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Re: Ken Nair's Books

Postby suffolk sinner » Mon Jan 19, 2015 7:16 am

vilnius wrote:I did not attend any sessions like the above poster did, I just read the book. And I have to say my experience and results were as he says. It is very easy to criticize this book, but the fruit in our life after reading and applying it has be very good.

Well, any book espousing non-biblical ideas is easy to criticize.

And, yes, any 'teaching' can work. It just requires that all those involved buy into it. Doesn't make it right, but it 'works.' In the case of Nair, both the husband and wife have to believe that the wife is a mere tabula rasa in the hands of her husband, and that his goal is to achieve sainthood in order to have a happy marriage.


Re: Ken Nair's Books

Postby Dan_NewEngland » Fri Dec 23, 2016 7:06 am

I'm new here and this is the thread that brought me to this group. At the beginning of November my wife told me to leave the house. This past weekend a friend suggested I read Ken's book and I finished it yesterday. I don't agree with everything Ken is trying to teach in the book. I do agree with a base principal that I think he trying to teach and which I have ignored for too long.

God has provided me with mirrors to reflect my life back to me, His Word being the most important one. He then gave me my wife and 6 children as mirrors. For too long I have ignored the mirror of His Word and the mirror of my family. If I hadn't been ignoring those mirrors in my life then I probably wouldn't be alone right now. We can carry the lesson out to our dealings with anyone we come in contact with. Do we watch and observe how we have hurt or encouraged our neighbor, co-worker, or anyone we come in contact with?

God calls us to show His love out to those we come in contact with. That is not a call for just husbands or just wives - it is a call to all Christians. And it is a call that I have failed in over many years and for which God as my loving and just Father is having to discipline me for.

So even though I don't agree with everything in Ken's book, I'm thankful that God brought it into my life to teach me a principal that I needed to learn. I hope this helps someone else.

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Re: Ken Nair's Books

Postby jer9vs2324 » Fri Sep 15, 2017 12:27 pm

I didn't read the book but attended his last seminar in Phoenix. As the book review points out, he is good in the broad brush concepts of marriage (husbands being Christlike, etc.) extremely week in his details specifically his interpretation (or misinterpretation of Scripture). Most of the seminar was irritating because it was little more that a glorified recording session for his production of DVDs to sell. He constantly had to go back and re-read off by the teleprompters for endless"retakes". My wife and I sacrificed 3 days of travel and expenses to attend his seminar, his lack of preparation was the epitome of rudness. His misinterpretation and misapplication of Scripture has been accurately documented in previous posts, so I'll not repeat them. I came away from the Seminar trying to glean some benefit of what he said; there wasn't much but even a starving man can get some nutrition from a a poorly prepared meal. The seminar was heavy on husband bashing without anything for the wives except more ammunition for them to keep blaming their husbands for all the marriage problems. It is also noteworthy that he spent a lot of years with Bill Gothard; even though I have been helped by Gothard, his latest scandals shed some light on the fact that all was not well with him. Does Nair's ministry help some people? Undoubtedly so, but there is so much error and imbalance, I would definitely not recommend him, there are much better resources out there!!

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