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Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Pay no attention to the folks behind the curtain.
Posts: 3168
Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2004 7:46 am
Location: Somewhere between Mordor and Rivendell


Postby Dale » Wed Nov 28, 2012 10:27 am

A situation has recently come to light with a board member who was--for lack of a better term--a predator. This person used our boards as a way to seek to compromise the integrity of other members who were vulnerable in their marriages. As a result, a few posters have experienced shame and humiliation, and may have also possibly been the target of "stalking", extending into their offline real lives--which is, of course, extremely disturbing. The person responsible is no longer on the boards, having had their posting privileges revoked. However, real damage has been done to real people who were caught up in a web of temptations and lies.

So once again, a reminder needs to be sounded. If ANYONE contacts you through the PM feature that you do not wish to or attempts to elicit any information from you or tries to get you to engage in anything questionable or inappropriate (such as flirting or talking dirty or outright cybersexing), report that person IMMEDIATELY to the Oversight Group or a moderator (OG members names show up red on the main index page, and moderators show up green). Please do not wait until things get out of control. We have tools available to us for intervention that can effectively stop anyone in their tracks who is causing problems on the boards or with individuals. But those tools are useless if we do not know what is going on. One of the reasons this situation occurred was that there was a veil of secrecy. One member confessed to another member and sought help, but then wanted it all to remain a secret, and so no one contacted a mod or OG member until the problem had spiraled down and the damage had been done. Please know that the OG and mods are here to help, NOT to punish. But we cannot help if we are unaware of a problem that is occurring.

ALSO BE AWARE, we do not have any power outside of the boards -- which means you must be extremely careful about giving out any personal information that can be used to track you in posts or PMs, including things such as Facebook pages, blog addresses, or any other way that you could be tracked. We have safety nets in place on the boards, and more are on the way within this coming month, but your best defense against online harrassment is simply to constantly remain in a "protective" mode. Letting your guard down for even an instant can be incredibly damaging to you and your family. This is a Christian ministry, and of course it would be wonderful if everyone who posts could be implicitly trusted and we could count everyone as brothers and sisters that would never do anything to harm us. But the Bible is EXTREMELY clear that there are wolves in the flock and we MUST be on our guard at all times, not to mention that we fight a real war against a very real Enemy that wants nothing more than to destroy every single marriage and every single life that this ministry touches!

Many of us (myself included) have been wonderfully blessed by the ministry of TMB for many years. This ministry has saved lives and countless marriages since it first came online way back in the 90s. And there are better days yet to come and more lives and more marriages to be saved! So please, EVERYONE, watch your back and watch your brothers' and sisters' backs as well!

To the glory of God and more joy in the marriage bed,

For the moderators, Oversight Group, and Board of Directors of TMB

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