First time encounters for the FH

What's supposed to happen on the wedding night? Will it hurt? What if I'm not a virgin? ...
Rockclimber
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First time encounters for the FH

Postby Rockclimber » Mon Mar 07, 2011 9:49 pm

It seems that 99% of the Honeymoon stories here are from the DW's side, and most are about her anxiety about her pain.

I'd like to hear about the rest of the DH's first times !

It was 34 yrs ago that I was married to my first wife, and even being both virgins, I, the DH, had "extreme performance anxiety".

It took me seconds to peel her gown off once we got to the hotel room, I felt I was almost going to O just kissing her and seeing her naked for the first time, but once it came to PIV, I went South in a second. :oops:

We tried for several hours, I'd get erect and feel like I couldn't last another minute, but as soon as we tried PIV, I went limp.

Finally, at one point, while she was trying to "perk me up" through manual stimulation, I did manage to "O", and that was the first messy cleanup.

After coming back down down, I was able to reciprocate the favor for her via manual stimulation.

It took 2-3 more weeks of trying 3-4 times a day before I was actually able to achieve PIV intercourse.

I'm 56 yrs old now and on my second marriage of 14yrs, but I was "almost" as nervous if not more , the second time around going into the honeymoon.

It's time for all of the guys to speak up !

GaryP74

Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby GaryP74 » Tue Mar 08, 2011 6:16 am

My first sex encounter was an utter failure. I didn't get an erection at all. I didn't try again for several years. I had a couple more on the way to marriage which were also failures, although getting an erection like you describe. Just not being able to keep it long enough to actually get to an orgasm. I knew that this was a mental issue because I was able to masturbate with an erection all the way, and understood that it was likely due to fear.

After marriage, about the first 6 or 8 times were failures in which I got an erection, but could not successfully penetrate DW. It seemed that this was tied to some thoughts which I was having which would seem to occur in my mind about the time I was ready for the PIV. The next few times, I was able to "complete", although I'm sure that DW would have said it was nothing to write home about :oops: She came to marriage more experienced than me. And this was another cause for my anxiety . I felt I wasn't good enough for DW in other areas of life, too, sex, my looks, ability to earn money, etc.

I continued to have sporadic "failures" for about 5-6 months into our marriage. I went to a urologist and got tested for low T, and much to my surprise, it came back quite low. I hadn't really considered a physical cause up to this point. When that was discovered, it obviously had a good effect on me, because the "failures" seemed to go away over a month or so, even though I had not yet started on T replacement. I guess I was so relieved to learn that this wasn't my fault. I'm not having any at this point, 11 months into the marriage. However, our frequency has dropped, we're not newlyweds anymore :roll: So I don't know whether I would have failures now, or not, because I'm not comparing apples to apples.

We are both satisfied sexually at this point and we love each other totally. So, whatever's not broke, we don't fix it.

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby mamame » Tue Mar 08, 2011 6:42 am

Can a woman chime in here?

I wouldn't call it a failure if a man had erection problems from all the excitement. There are lots of other things to do you know. I wish I could reassure men that sex is really not all about your penis for us. You've got lots of parts that can bring us pleasure!

Even now after 20+ years, if DH and I have been away from each other, our first time together is usually really quick. He just doesn't last very long. It has taken me YEARS to convince him that I love that! I think it's crazy hot that he is that excited and turned on. Plus, if it's been a while - my body likes the shorter duration at first.

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby Mr. Rkt » Tue Mar 08, 2011 6:53 am

I was really nervous our first time, too. Our reception and dances went into the evening. We left and drove to Cleveland, to catch a plane to our honeymoon the next morning. Our first attempt was in the hotel that night. It wasn't successful, and we agreed to go to sleep and try again the next day.

The next morning it was the first thing we did before leaving for the airport. It was very nice, it worked, and it didn't last very long.

I can't remember if it was later that day or on the next day, but what I consider to be our first really erotic lovemaking time together was on the honeymoon itself, and it included slow mutual disrobing while sunlight streamed in the windows and we could hear the surf in the background.

These are really sweet memories, and I'm glad we have them. The sex was usually over too quickly, and we were getting every level of intimacy at once all the time, for the first time. We had lived 75 miles apart when we were engaged, so we didn't have the luxury of each other's time like this.

The best sex, by far, on every level, came many years later.
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby thisbejoe7 » Tue May 17, 2011 6:56 am

DW and I were both nervous. Once DW came out of our bedroom in her nightgown, we went and sat on the bed. Took turns undressing each other. We were both in awe as we saw each others bodies naked for the first time. I was totally taken with her and when she saw me, she literally said "wow, thats big". :-) Anyway, for me it was instant erection before she ever came out of the bedroom. I had no erection problems, except that mine wouldn't go away. I ended up MB'ing for her so she could see how my plumbing worked. When we tried PIV it was too painful for her and we couldn't really do anything. We ended up doing manual for her and thats when we first experienced FE.

My erection wouldn't go away and I had several O's during our play time. The following morning we managed to met me inside and I had at least one more O that way, but it took months before we could have sex without intense pain for DW. Our nervousness was replaced with efforts of determination to have PIV without pain.

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby drjackcharis » Fri Jul 15, 2011 6:11 pm

DW and I were both total virgins at our wedding nearly 13years ago.

We had discussed a few weeks earlier our concerns about pleasing each other having waited so long. As soon as we settled into our hotel room I began to make advances at DW who was initially shy, but progressively warmed up as we curdled.

After what seemed a long period of foreplay we decided to try for PIV IC, but to no avail.Being a medic I didnt anticipate any problems, but how more presumptious could I be?

All through the evening we tried to no avail without success.Now I wish I knew then that I could at least have given DW the joy of her first O on our wedding night by digital or OS. It was a case of the learned but uneducated hubby.As the evening progressed DW became sore around her intimate area and the expression of pain on her face made me go limp each attempt at entry.

I recall the feeling of being like a loaded riffle waiting to discharge all through the night as we held each other and our excitment began to give way to frustration, and now fear on DW's part.My heart bled as she worried she may be imperforate and incapable of giving me the pleasure she so much desired to provide as a wife.From this point it was DW who took the lead to initiate IC.My erections became weaker and short lived as I realised how much pain each attempt at PIV inflicted on my innocent virgin.

The hours turned into days and despite several attempts at PIV with copious foreplay, it was not until the fifth night that our marriage was blissfully consumated.But for what appeared to be a coincidentally finding of a means that eliminated the hinderance(Gate keeper), we may not have consumated the marriage for weeks, at the rate we were going. Now in retrospect I know God had it all planned ahead.

On the fifth night I used the medium the Lord had graciously provided to give DW a painless slow and gentle digital stretching of her hymen until there was enough room for my slim member to finally enter into it's rest. It didn't last more than a few thrusts(certainly less than a minute) before I had my first O. Despite not having an O, DW was overjoyed that she had finally delivered her chastity to her DH.

I lovingly followed her to the bathroom and what an overwhelming joy when shared as she felt a blob drop off her body into the closet.It was the bleeding remains of the membrane which she had so carefully guarded her chastity for many years, but was no longer required now that she had exchanged the vows to share all she had with the love of her life.It was this culprit that had held us back this five days from ravishing the full experience of marital intimacy.Up until this day DW breaks out in a smile when I lovingly tease her about how she relentlessly encouraged me to try again until indeed the veil gave way.She tells me it was dream come true to share the innocence of her beautiful body with no other, but the man she had vowed to love and cherish all her life.

12 years on, we are more skilled at it,and it can only get better.

My advise to FH is be patient and take your time-plenty of lubrication, and be prepared to manually pave a path for your entry if you have to

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby danakin » Sun Jul 17, 2011 1:32 pm

After our reception we had to drive 2 hours to the hotel near the Detroit airport. I remember the moon being huge on the drive. We got to the hotel, checked in and got information on the shuttle busses in the morning, and went to the room. Helped her get her hair untied from all the bobby pins and wraps and bands and stuff in it, and then she took off her clothes. I remember saying "So THAT'S what you look like!" when she took off her bra.

She got what seemed like half an hour of OS from me (but was likely only 3-5 minutes...) and then we tried. It was frustrating. Things didn't seem to line up perfectly and this bit over here kept getting in the way of that bit over there, and why the heck can't I get in? So we took a break for a while, tried again. Got further in, but still didn't feel right. It felt like I was trying to put my lil fellow through one of those milk rings or something. Things were tight and unyielding and really kind of uncomfortable for me. We kept trying and trying after little 20-30minute naps, and finally it kinda worked.

If I had a time machine, current me would tell past me to spend way more time on the foreplay, and to talk to my wife about not being shy telling me what she wants and what feels good BEFORE we're in the midst of everything. Using CO or some lube would have helped, but we both wanted the first time to be without that at all.

And honestly, even though it was a hassle and awkward, "popping" her was such a feeling of accomplishment. Even today, if it's not quite time to get in while we attempt PIV, when she does get aroused and I can sink in it's a great feeling (she says she loves the first thrust too. Not sure if that's a common thing :?: )

When we woke up to catch the flight our room was around 50 degrees. The thermostat was busted. So we showered together and caught the bus to catch our flight to catch our cruise. Sex on the honeymoon was way better, and my wife was able to O through PIV on our second or third day. I attribute that solely to the delicious lobster ravioli we had that night for dinner in the fancy cruise ship dining room.

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby George B. » Wed Jul 27, 2011 9:49 pm

We both were virgins on our wedding night. However, we had already talked about sex and our expectations for the honeymoon a decent amount, so we both felt pretty prepared for what was ahead.

Our wedding night was at a nice little B & B about 15 miles from the wedding reception (but we covered that 15 miles pretty quick, let me tell you!). There was a jacuzzi bath upstairs in the B & B, so I let my bride go up there, draw a bath and get into it naked to wait for me. Then I came up when she was ready, wearing just underwear. As I recall, when we saw me naked for the first time, she was pleased, but not shocked or anything. I think that was mainly because she didn't have anything to compare me too, as she was a virgin. And it was the same for me when I saw her for the first time. To each other, we were simply perfect.

I gave her a manual orgasm in the jacuzzi, but that was a bit of a mistake. The water was a little too hot, and she nearly passed out. :shock:

I managed to get her downstairs and onto the bed where she was able to recover. We had already decided to not attempt PIV sex, since we'd previously had a discussion about the discrepancy between my size and hers (her OB/GYN had warned us that first intercourse would be difficult--no kidding, it took around 6 weeks for us to fully penetrate!). Instead, she lovingly gave me manual stimulation until I had my orgasm. One interesting note about that--it took me a while to get used to her rhythm as opposed to the one I was used to (mine) to reach orgasm, but I got there eventually.

All in all, it was a great and memorable night, and we both felt very comfortable with one another and being nude together.

We overslept the next morning and had to rush to the airport to catch our flight, inadvertently taking the car keys with us, which meant that our silly string covered car sat in the hot airport parking lot for a week and all of the silly string baked into the paint. ::arg

But the honeymoon was great, and our marriage since then (15 years!) has been more incredible with each passing year.
On sex: "Neither men nor women will be asked to throw away the weapon they have used victoriously. It is the beaten and the fugitives who throw away their swords. The conquerors sheathe theirs and retain them."-C.S. Lewis

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby alee » Sun Sep 25, 2011 12:35 pm

Second marriage for both of us but the first time together was great. She had been on the "pill" for such a short time, she was afraid to have PIV without a condom. This was 1985. Nothing was open overnight in those days that could remedy our problem. We probably tried four or five pharmacies and two or three convenience stores before we made our purchase of condoms. We hurried back to our honeymoon retreat and made good use of the condoms.

Twenty six years later. Its better now than ever. I think DW would give testimony about how much more she enjoys sex these days than in years gone by. We have sex almost everyday and on many of these days, we have sex morning and night.
"If it feels this good getting used, just keep on using me...until you use me up."

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby Clean Sheets » Mon Sep 26, 2011 11:46 pm

We were also virgins, though we dated many years. I remember DW taking a long time getting ready (lots of bird seed in her hair, if I recall). haha We were in a beautiful bed and breakfast with a roaring fireplace. Once she came out, she was of course the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. Magnificent. First, we read the Song of Solomon together - or at least a few chapters. :) Finally, we just took our time cuddling and kissing. Then came the reveal. This was our first time to see each other without clothes. It was amazing. We had spoken about whether or not we would try the first night. I was ready to wait, but was hoping she was open to not waiting. 8) The first sexual experience of the night was me on my back. All I remember was feeling something I had never experienced before. In fact, it was the BEST feeling I had ever felt in my life. I asked her what she was doing. And she said, "I'm kissing you."

:!: :!: :!:

That was something that really spoke to me because I knew (from past abuse) that such a thing would be hard for her to do. It showed me just how strong her love and desire was for me... that she overcame her fear. That is something I will always cherish. Always.

When it came to love making we gave it a go after about 45 minutes of exploring. :) It was the strangest feeling. I could literally tell I was forging new ground. I could feel her body receiving me as if I were stretching her (hard to explain). Amazingly, I lasted as long as we desired to. I couldn't believe it, but it's true. I think it was because I had educated myself about the PC muscle. That came in real handy. She did not orgasm that night, but by day two of our marriage she did. On day three she experienced her first multiple. It was crazy. We were making up for lost time making love for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Literally three times a day all week. It was one of the best weeks of my life.

That was my first encounter, and I am grateful.

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby Clean Sheets » Thu Sep 29, 2011 1:39 pm

Did I somehow kill this thread? If so, I apologize. :o

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby thisbejoe7 » Thu Sep 29, 2011 2:00 pm

Clean Sheets wrote:Did I somehow kill this thread? If so, I apologize. :o


Maybe not killed it exactly, but I'm sure a lot of people are jealous now. I know I'd pay money for a honeymoon like that!

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby Dbrown » Fri Jan 09, 2015 12:53 pm

Hey, this is a pretty inspiring post. I like what I'm seeing. I'm seeing a lot of experiences with couples who were both virgins. Now I am a virgin engaged to my fiance (who isn't a virgin). Can any of you men, who were virgins, share of your first time experience with your wife who was not a virgin? What was that experience like? Thanks

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby Epaminondas » Fri Jan 09, 2015 2:09 pm

DW and I left the reception around 8 or 9 and drove to an ice cream place in our full wedding garb. They took our picture for their scrap book haha. We went to our apartment and she changed into her white baby doll she had chosen. She was gorgeous. We kissed and touched and took each other's clothes off. We had done everything but Intercourse for a year before the wedding and had seen each other naked many times alas. We shared some manual and oral foreplay, applied some ky jelly to me, and assumed the (missionary) position. We were both pleased that entry wasn't overly painful for her and only took a few moments of going slow. The feeling was - and still is - the most amazing thing ever. Our passions overtook us and we hurried towards a simultaneous orgasm in minutes. It was amazing. I lay next to her cuddling and kissing for a few minutes and then she climbed on top and she rode to an O and then an O for me. Then we sat on the floor for a naked picnic of reception food from the caterers. After a while we got back in bed and ml to another O for me before we were exhausted and she was sore. A UTI made the honeymoon tough, but our first night is still some of the best sex we've ever had.
God Bless <><

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby Dbrown » Tue Jan 13, 2015 8:14 am

I guess what I'm asking is, if your wife isn't a virgin when you marry her, is their still a struggle for penetration? I mean the hymen is gone is it not? Just need some clarification. Thanks

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby marriedandlovingit » Tue Jan 13, 2015 9:13 pm

From my personal experiences, no. No penetration issues. But every woman is different. Your experience may be different. That's okay. Just be mindful of her needs and don't rush it.
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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby Skeeter » Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:20 am

What did some comedian once say
"My first experience with sex was awful. It was dark, it was cold, I was alone,,,,"

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby Dbrown » Wed Jan 14, 2015 12:32 pm

@marriedandlovingit

Thanks, I don't know why I didn't think of that in the first place, :shock: . Thanks for the insight! I'm understanding more and more as we get closer to the marriage date, to do what works for you and your future spouse, do not compare, what works for others may not work for you and yours.

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby TheTigress » Thu Jan 15, 2015 4:25 am

^^^ So very true!! An open and honest communication about sex and a generous spirit will go a very long way!
Together or not at all- Amy Pond

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Re: First time encounters for the FH

Postby Dbrown » Thu Jan 15, 2015 7:50 am

@TheTigress,

What do you mean by "generous"? I Have heard that term all over this website, but don't know what it means in a marriage context.

Dbrown


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