Not sure how to talk to husband about this...Back to the same issue again

Can't orgasm, pain during intercourse, etc.
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JEM0121
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Re: Not sure how to talk to husband about this...Back to the same issue again

Postby JEM0121 » Fri Mar 09, 2018 12:42 pm

I haven't actually told him "I think you have low T,, get checked". We talked last year about him finding a PCP and getting a full physical that was the depth of it really.

I had low T before him, so I'm not sure if it would be embarrassment or just plain not wanting to go to the doctor. He saw exactly what I went through and it wasn't pretty and he's seen what fixing the hormones does so I would *think* that would take some of the fear of the unknown away. In other words, he knows all the steps involved as far as bloodwork, follow ups etc....

He seems to have energy for some things. He works his days off with his dad. Hunting season and he's full of energy.

If he's looking at porn, it's at work (and he's driving a good part of the day so that would be difficult). We go to bed at the same time every night. There isn't any evidence that I've noticed on any devices. No disappearing the shower with his phone in hand. If he is, he's hiding it WELL.

If it's that he wants sex, but not with me, well then, that's a whole other ball of wax and all of this is irrelevant.

I don't think he's a LD person. He never USED to be anyway.

It could be that the status quo is easier than changing. People get comfortable with the way things have been. In our 18 years of marriage,, there have been ups and downs as far as sex goes. I wouldn't say I was a refuser, but not a gatekeeper either. Closer to refuser if I had to pick though. I mean we never went months or anything like that. Its just that when problems came up and weren't dealt with, I had a hard time wanting to be intimate. He'd shut down as ffar as talking about issues, and I'd shut down as far as intimacy.

Unfulfilled
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Re: Not sure how to talk to husband about this...Back to the same issue again

Postby Unfulfilled » Sat Mar 10, 2018 5:31 am

My T levels at least based on my symptoms of course declined with age. However it seems like it was not a smooth or consistent slow decline. Rather in my case, it seemed like my levels and drive where high, and then in a very short time like within a year or so, they suddenly plummeted. And along with it my drive. I am just over 50, the drop seemed to come at about age 46. So being 51 and having the T levels of a 70 year old is still considered “normal”. Go figure!

In my case, currently I have chosen to not seek treatment becasue having the low drive removed a LOT of stress. Sexual frustration and arguments. I now better match my wifes drive. The other symptoms are not severe enough to make treatment worthwhile. For me. And where I am now. What happens a year from now or into the future only time will tell.

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JEM0121
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Re: Not sure how to talk to husband about this...Back to the same issue again

Postby JEM0121 » Sat Mar 10, 2018 10:21 am

I think for me the low T symptoms became noticeable and severe for about a year and a half prior to diagnosis. But looking back there were probably subtle signs of decline earlier than that.

DH’s brother started with shots o ow T probably 5 yer ago and he’s younger than dh. However, he didn’t stick with it. So I think DH has an idea how common it probably is.

Thinking of symptoms—dh’s biggest that I’d say is probably difficulty losing weight and probably some brain fog.

Id hate for him to not get treatment hoping h wold lower his libido. But I don’t think that’s probably a factor in him getting tested

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JEM0121
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Re: Not sure how to talk to husband about this...Back to the same issue again

Postby JEM0121 » Mon Mar 12, 2018 11:55 am

Well, we bought a toy on Saturday evening. :shock: We went out for a casual dinner date and had some time after dinner before we had to pick our daughter up from work. He asked if I had anything I wanted to go do for a little while and I kind of just blurted it out and suggested we go look for something. we went to a store that actually wasn't really "bad". Everything was lingerie our "outfits" near the front, they had lubes and oils and toys towards the back. Any videos or things like that that would have made it feel like there was porn everywhere must have been in the back of the store. No where in plain sight. We got a basic vibe for clitoral stimulation. He seemed pretty uncomfortable going which surprised me a little. Somehow I was the one that was more relaxed. :oops: So, we're making some progress. 8)

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Re: Not sure how to talk to husband about this...Back to the same issue again

Postby love2 » Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:12 pm

Very cool

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