Am I missing something?

Can't orgasm, pain during intercourse, etc.
lovingalways
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Am I missing something?

Postby lovingalways » Fri Mar 10, 2017 7:02 pm

My question is: I have never been able to have an orgasm from oral stimulation. My husband has tried a few times, a couple times it felt good for a little while but most of the time it just doesn't feel good, and then it just seems awkward so we end up moving to PIV. Also I'm not positive if he even enjoys it or not so I don't often ask for it. He says he enjoys it but it just doesn't seem like he really does to me, and he rarely brings it up. It seems like he just thinks it's not possible for me. I can orgasm from certain PIV positions most of the time so I'm confused why it wouldn't happen otherwise. We have been married for almost 5 years and I would love to experience my husband making it happen. Is it possible OS just doesn't work on me, or are we having technical issues? :shock: :oops:

ledgemoor
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Re: Am I missing something?

Postby ledgemoor » Fri Mar 10, 2017 10:09 pm

My wife's go-to way to orgasm is manual stimulation. She enjoys oral and PIV, but as foreplay.

She needs her nipples sucked in order to have an orgasm. Her hormone doctor says that causes release of oxytocin, which aids orgasm.

However, a few years ago she started having second orgasms from PIV, and just in the past few months has had a few second orgasms from oral.

We are in our late 50s.

Technique could be a factor. DW prefers suction on her clitoris, or licking so as to push the clitoral hood back and directly lick her clitoris. She is rather delicate there and requires a light to moderate touch for manual, but with OS I can pretty much go to town without causing her pain.

But if your husband tries different things while watching your reaction to learn what you like best, I don't see much else to do.

Talk to your husband about how he feels about OS. A lot of guys love doing it to their wives. When it comes to oral sex, giving is defiantly better than receiving :-).

Just do it for enjoynment, it without the expectation of orgasm. Focus on the emotional intimacy. Who knows, you may surprise yourselves at some point. A "few times" is probably not going to be enough.
Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside your comfort zone (Jamie Lee Curtis)

tjw
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Re: Am I missing something?

Postby tjw » Sat Mar 11, 2017 4:02 am

When it comes to oral sex, giving is defiantly better than receiving :-).


The greatest thing about sex is pleasing DW. My own orgasm, I like it, but if I don't get it (which, anymore, was never due to Zoloft) it's no big deal as long as I know I'm leaving her satisfied. Oral is the only way for her. What I "need" from sex is accomplished through her orgasm, not mine.

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Shenonymous
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Re: Am I missing something?

Postby Shenonymous » Sat Mar 11, 2017 4:38 am

At what point in the encounter are you trying oral?
I'm wondering if you're going into it not aroused enough...
Could you do a fair bit of foreplay until you're basically begging him for it?
Also, where do you look? Do you watch your DH doing it? Does that sight turn you on, or does it look kind of weird? You could try closing all your eyes and really focusing all your thoughts on what is happening with your [clitoris]...

Just some ideas!

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Nova
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Re: Am I missing something?

Postby Nova » Sun Mar 12, 2017 2:25 pm

Shenonymous wrote:At what point in the encounter are you trying oral?
I'm wondering if you're going into it not aroused enough...

That was my initial thought as well. My wife needs to already be revved up before the idea of oral sex is even approached.

Also, regarding whether the OP's husband enjoys it... I can't speak for anyone else, of course, but if he's anything like me, he enjoys the pleasure he's giving you. Giving oral sex is one of the most intimate acts I can think of, in some ways moreso than PiV. If he doesn't volunteer it, it may be because he thinks you don't like it. If you enjoy it, even without getting to orgasm on it, my recommendation is to ask for it.

A good husband is always eager to carry out his wife's requests.

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tentsofpurple
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Re: Am I missing something?

Postby tentsofpurple » Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:20 pm

My first thought is that maybe you are not aroused enough as well. If we do os before I am ready for it its ticklish and uncomfortable bordering on painful. If we take our time and wait until I'm ready, even dying for it its usually a sure thing for me. Sometimes dh will stimulate my g spot during which really helps send me over the edge.


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