Celibacy leading to Low Sex Drive?

[DPT2008]

My FH and I have been a couple for a little over a year, and have been celibate during our relationship. I was celibate for a few a few years before we got together, with a couple slip ups here and there (like 4 times in 5 yrs), but generally celibate. The last of these "slip ups" was with my FH, before becoming a couple. Now we are preparing to marry and I really don't have a desire to have sex. My FH expects that when we marry, we will ML nightly. I am attracted to him and being that we have an intimate past, I know that we are compatible during, but I don't know if I can meet his expected frequency. I don't know if I have blocked out the dersire to make the celibacy easier or what. Once I get back to a regular frequency, will the desire return? Can I pray that my desire returns once we are wed, or is that crazy?

[Leah in Mid-South]

You can pray. That's always the first and best thing to do. As you pray, ask the Lord to show you whether you are ready to make that kind of commitment. You already know what your FH is expecting. Sex drive often goes up and down for women. Hormonal birth control and other meds can have an impact. Attitude can have an impact.

The bottom line is that marriage is a boundary around an exclusive sexual relationship. If your FH can't reasonably expect to experience regular, frequent, enthusiastic lovemaking when he marries you, then how is he supposed to have his need met?

I'm just asking the questions. I'm sure some of the others will post soon with better advice than I have.

But yes, do pray. Pray especially.

[luvmygirls]

Leah gave some good advice. Let me ask, though, what you mean by celibacy? Have you just been trying to keep sexually pure and abstain from sexual activity until you got married, or have you worked to deny your sexuality altogether? Or do you already have little or no sexual desire and have been trying to create one in yourself so that you could be prepared for marriage? Answering these questions (and asking US to help YOU answer them) may help you determine your better courses of action. It's important to know that the sexual relationship is a very strong part of a healthy and godly marriage. When you say, "I do", being involved sexually and enthusiastically is one of the things you are committing yourself to. You need to pray for yourself and your FH and ask God for guidance. If you are unwilling/unable to commit to sexual activity on a regular basis, you need to discuss that and possibly determine if you need to get married before you come to a determination. Counseling may be in order as well.

Post back so we can get a little clearer picture of who you are. Thanks.