Sex After The Legal Marriage Okay?

[jgrant85]

I'm curious, and would like the opinions of the other posters here. My FW and I both have very strong "desires". We are both extremely committed to each other and know for certain that God has brought us together. That being said, do you think it is okay to have sex after the legal wedding but before the Christian wedding?

[Leah in Mid-South]

I'm taking it that you live in a place that requires both?

[jokerman]

How long is the gap in between, and what is the reason for it?

Honestly, I think it's okay to have sex as soon as you're legally married. How could anyone accuse you of fornication if you've taken the legal step of commitment?

[jgrant85]

I'm taking it that you live in a place that requires both?

Yeah. I'm currently in South Korea teaching English. I'm from the USA, and she's from the Philippines. In the Philippines (and South Korea) religious ceremonies have no meaning legally.

[jgrant85]

How long is the gap in between, and what is the reason for it?

Only a few days, maximum. We don't have a specific date yet on the legal marriage (just the Christian one). We actually planned to have them done the same day, but we are certainly "burning with passion" and wanted to get the legal one a little earlier so we don't have to wait any longer.

[jokerman]

I'm taking it that you live in a place that requires both?

Yeah. I'm currently in South Korea teaching English. I'm from the USA, and she's from the Philippines. In the Philippines (and South Korea) religious ceremonies have no meaning legally.

For a woman from the Philippines, what is the cultural implication of having sex after legal marriage but before the ceremony? Is there any implication? Would that have been a scandal in the past, or even now?

Not that we define sin based on traditions, but I'm just curious.

[HollyLena]

IMO, once you are married, you are. You have made your commitment. God knows you made your commitment. Legal, or religious ceremony.

[blushingwife]

I for one think it is NOT Ok to have sex before the Christian blessing, but I also know that my opinion is not shared by most here.
So no stones please

[jokerman]

I for one think it is NOT Ok to have sex before the Christian blessing, but I also know that my opinion is not shared by most here.
So no stones please

I know what you're saying, which is why I asked about the customs and cultural expectations surrounding this whole thing. Sometimes we can avoid sin in a technical way, but if a young couple kicks up a scandal, or the DH ruins the reputation of his bride due to his decisions, that could also be a sin, or at the very least bad judgment.

[Leah in Mid-South]

I for one think it is NOT Ok to have sex before the Christian blessing, but I also know that my opinion is not shared by most here.
So no stones please

No stones from me, either. I just asked the question. Where I live, either you're married or you're not, unless you're divorced, in which case it takes 30 days for it to be final.

[HollyLena]

A marriage license isn't complete, until it's signed. So getting it, you usually have to wait three days until you can have someone sign it ( judge or pastor ect).

[blushingwife]

I for one think it is NOT Ok to have sex before the Christian blessing, but I also know that my opinion is not shared by most here.
So no stones please

No stones from me, either. I just asked the question. Where I live, either you're married or you're not, unless you're divorced, in which case it takes 30 days for it to be final.

DH and I had the religious ceremony two months before the legal one, because of immigration issues.
After the religious ceremony, we were not married in the eyes of the law, but felt very much married because we had received God's blessings and the blessings of our families and friends.
It was cool to have 2 wedding parties: one in each country
Oh, and we were lucky enough that we did not conceive DD until one month after our civil ceremony: it would have been a bit of a pain to explain the dates on the wedding certificate not adding up with her birth certificate.

[landschooner]

There is no wedding procedure prescribed in the Bible. If you are legally married, you're married. The pastor has no special power to marry you (except legally by the state) If there was no legal requirement, it would be perfectly fine for you guys to just say "We're married!" and then consummate the marriage.....but God and the church would hold you to that, because you would BE MARRIED.

[bootsandspurs]

Is this the kind of thing that engaged couples would have to sort out for themselves? It seems kind of like kissing/not kissing before marriage and other issues where everyone seems to have a fairly set way of thinking, but there isn't any clear guidance.

My thinking is that if you're legally married, you're married. It doesn't make sense that you could be partially married. But I suppose you could say the same thing about the religious ceremony, that you are not married until after that.

[VanGogh]

I'm curious, and would like the opinions of the other posters here. My FW and I both have very strong "desires". We are both extremely committed to each other and know for certain that God has brought us together. That being said, do you think it is okay to have sex after the legal wedding but before the Christian wedding?

I think that a Christian wedding occurs when two Christians get married to each other, regardless of whether the ceremony is civil or religious.

[CubbieChuck]

Post of the day goes to LANDSCHOONER! Right on the money!!

[thinkingswiftly]

There is no wedding procedure prescribed in the Bible. If you are legally married, you're married. The pastor has no special power to marry you (except legally by the state) If there was no legal requirement, it would be perfectly fine for you guys to just say "We're married!" and then consummate the marriage.....but God and the church would hold you to that, because you would BE MARRIED.

100% agree here.

Do whatever you feel is God's will for you both to the best of your ability with a clear conscience and give thanks to God.

[mrs_b]

Yes, you're married! Enjoy it!

[hotdoginabun]

Hotdog and I are also in South Korea!

-Just wanted to add that. lol.

-Bun

[manygoodyears]

I for one think it is NOT Ok to have sex before the Christian blessing, but I also know that my opinion is not shared by most here.
So no stones please

I know what you're saying, which is why I asked about the customs and cultural expectations surrounding this whole thing. Sometimes we can avoid sin in a technical way, but if a young couple kicks up a scandal, or the DH ruins the reputation of his bride due to his decisions, that could also be a sin, or at the very least bad judgment.

I think Jokerman asks a good question. The Bible doesn't really address this question directly because even in the New Testament, there is no such thing as a specifically Christian marriage ceremony. I imagine the church just accepted whatever the surrounding culture did for marriage (though I haven't studied this). I think this is a "respect what is right in the sight of all people" kind of issue (assuming you can figure out who the "all people" are who matter in this situation...!). It might be important, for instance, to talk with whoever will perform the Christian ceremony and make sure they are on board with whatever you decide. Just a thought...